dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
