She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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