Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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