Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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