dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
