I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I think my moral compass just broke
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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