Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
