i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
