omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
