one might say we're banned from that church
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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