Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
