I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
