I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
