Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
