Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
