IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
