You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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