She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
