Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
