sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
