Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
