I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
