This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
