remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
