I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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