we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
