I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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