just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
