yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
