So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
