I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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