Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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