2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
this is an emotional support booty call
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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