ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
