I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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