I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
