this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
