Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
