i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
