wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
