how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
