TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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