I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
