I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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