You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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