I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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