official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
