it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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