this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
