Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
