I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
