32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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