Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
